How do I decide to separate from my spouse?

If you struggle with making a clear decision, try seeking outside counsel.

How do you know if I should part ways with my spouse?

When there's no trust or respect, you're only staying together for the kids, or because of other people's opinions, or despite your efforts, there are no positive changes - it might be time for a separation.

Should I Separate From My Wife Quiz

Have you both made efforts to communicate and resolve conflicts?

1/20

No, we rarely communicate or attempt to resolve conflicts

We try to communicate, but it's challenging to find resolutions

Yes, we actively communicate and resolve conflicts

Do you feel you would be happier without your partner in your life?

2/20

Yes, definitely

I don't think so

I'm not sure, maybe

Do you miss your life as a single person?

3/20

Yes, very much

Sometimes

No, I don't

Are you satisfied with the level of intimacy in your marriage?

4/20

There is a significant lack of intimacy and affection in our relationship

I'm satisfied with our level of intimacy

We have our struggles in that area, but we're working on it

Do you feel happy in your relationship?

5/20

No, I don't

I'm not sure

I do

Do you think your spouse is the person you will spend the rest of your life with?

6/20

Yes, I'm sure of it

I'm not entirely sure

I don't think so

Are you able to trust your wife and feel secure in the relationship?

7/20

I have trust issues that affect our relationship

Yes, I trust my wife completely and feel secure in our relationship

I don't feel trust or security in our relationship

Do you have a solid plan (financial and otherwise) for your separation?

8/20

Yes, I'm confident I can live on my own

No, everything is in shambles

Not yet, but I will handle it before making the decision

Do you still share common interests and enjoy spending time together?

9/20

We have few to no common interests and rarely enjoy each other's company

We have some shared interests but struggle to spend quality time

Yes, we share common interests and enjoy each other's company

Have you exhausted all options for resolving your marital issues?

10/20

Yes, we've done all we could

We have tried some approaches but still have more to explore

We haven't explored many options or attempted professional help

Are you fulfilled in your marriage?

11/20

Yes, I feel fulfilled and happy

No, I don't feel fulfilled

I think something is missing

Was there cheating in your relationship?

12/20

Yes, but we've overcome that hurdle

Yes

Do you feel comfortable being emotionally vulnerable around your wife?

13/20

No, not at all

Sometimes

Of course

How would you describe the current condition of your relationship?

14/20

We have a solid and healthy bond

We can't seem to find common ground anymore

We have some issues to work through, but we're making progress

Are you ready to handle tough conversations about custody arrangements, communication, ground rules, etc.?

15/20

I think I'm ready

It won't be easy, but I'm prepared to have those conversations

No, not at all

How do you see your life without your wife?

16/20

My future is unknown, but I am open to new possibilities

I'm positive and certain that I can discover happiness on my own

I am terrified and overwhelmed by the prospect of being alone

Are you only putting off the decision because you're worried about what other people will say?

17/20

It might be part of the reason

Yes, I'm concerned about family and friends' opinions

It might be part of the reason No, I don't care what others say

Do you still have strong feelings for each other?

18/20

I'm not sure

Yes

Are there any instances of physical or emotional abuse in your marriage?

19/20

No, our relationship is free of any abuse

Yes, there are instances of physical or emotional abuse

There have been some instances of emotional tension

Do you want to spend your free time with your wife?

20/20

It depends

No, I would rather be alone

Yes, I love to spend time with her

Should I Separate From My Wife Quiz

You should separate

There's no point in sticking it out any longer. You might still salvage your marriage, but it's time to take a step back and reflect on things. Separation (or possibly divorce) appears to be the best option in your circumstances.

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You probably should separate

Separation might be the best course of action...or not. Sometimes all you need is honest communication with your spouse. It's possible that with some effort, you could fix your relationship issues.

giphy (21)

You probably shouldn't separate

It doesn't seem like you need to separate. Whatever issues you might have in your relationship, are probably possible to fix.

Ok, things are getting serious: you’re considering a separation, maybe even divorce. People usually don’t make those decisions on a whim, so whatever the reason is, it must’ve been brewing for a while. Whether getting back together is an option or not, separation is a real deal. Whatever decision you make, you ought to know what awaits you. Answer the questions we prepared to decide if you should separate from your wife.

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Good reasons to separate

Sometimes hitting a pause on your marriage might be the best thing you could do. Paradoxically, that break could help your relationship survive, but even if not, it will allow you to look at the situation with a fresh eye. You should consider separation if…

You feel you would be better off without your spouse
Any relationship can hit a rough patch. There are seasons of life when your partner has to lean on you more than usual, and your needs might not be met in an equal way. Yet, if you feel your quality of life would improve without that person, it may be time to consider separation.

There is someone else in the picture
It happens – you’ve fallen for another person. Separating from your spouse will give you time to reflect on your feelings and recognize if they’re real or just a manifestation of disappointment in your marriage.

You’re worried about other people’s opinions
If it’s only your reputation you’re concerned about, let it go. Separation or divorce is not a scandalous thing. Some people will always have a lot to say, but disregard them! Your true friends and family will not pass judgment.

You’re only together for the kids
Parents splitting up can be traumatizing for the children, but so can parents arguing all the time or treating each other like strangers. If kids are the only thing keeping you together, it means you’re already subjecting them to living in an unhappy home.

Is it time to take this step and separate from your spouse?

Getting a divorce – how to prepare

Did you know divorce is one of the most stressful events in a person’s life, comparable to a loved one passing away? If you’re at the point right now, just know that it sucks, but you’ll get through it. Learning to navigate divorce financially, legally, and mentally will make the process go more smoothly.

The very first thing you do should be to find a divorce attorney. Even a very amicable split can be exhausting and scary, so let the professional handle the legal proceedings. You should absolutely have them assist with the divorce paperwork, as any mistakes could be costly. Ideally, a divorce lawyer will work to settle your case out of court and help you move on as painlessly as possible.

Make a point of gathering all essential documents and staying organized with them. For legal reasons, you will need your and your spouse’s personal information, temporary orders, employment info, financial documents, etc. As unpleasant as it will be to pick at those wounds, you’ll need to give your attorney all the records concerning your marriage: copies of marriage certificates, restraining orders, reasons for divorce, child custody orders, and whatever else there might be.

Splitting up personal property and all your assets is part of a divorce, so you have to face it sooner rather than later. Make a list of everything you own individually or with your spouse: houses, cars, livestock, household items, things like jewelry, antiques, tools, or items of sentimental value. Don’t forget to collect all the receipts, warrants, and other paperwork. Hiring a financial consultant might be in order if the process is too daunting.

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Between all the depositions, litigations, court battles, and attorney fees, please take care of yourself. Lean on the people close to you for support. There’s no shame in meeting with a counselor to help you with the emotional heavy lifting. Reaching for alcohol and other vices could be tempting, but it’s not productive in the long run, and neither is burying yourself in your work or pretending everything is fine. Let yourself feel all the feelings so you can move on.

Should I separate from my wife? Our quiz will hopefully shed light on your troubles. Answer the questions to find out if it is time to have lives of your own. Good luck!