Ok, things are getting serious: you’re considering a separation, maybe even divorce. People usually don’t make those decisions on a whim, so whatever the reason is, it must’ve been brewing for a while. Whether getting back together is an option or not, separation is a real deal. Whatever decision you make, you ought to know what awaits you. Answer the questions we prepared to decide if you should separate from your wife.
Sometimes hitting a pause on your marriage might be the best thing you could do. Paradoxically, that break could help your relationship survive, but even if not, it will allow you to look at the situation with a fresh eye. You should consider separation if…
You feel you would be better off without your spouse
Any relationship can hit a rough patch. There are seasons of life when your partner has to lean on you more than usual, and your needs might not be met in an equal way. Yet, if you feel your quality of life would improve without that person, it may be time to consider separation.
There is someone else in the picture
It happens – you’ve fallen for another person. Separating from your spouse will give you time to reflect on your feelings and recognize if they’re real or just a manifestation of disappointment in your marriage.
You’re worried about other people’s opinions
If it’s only your reputation you’re concerned about, let it go. Separation or divorce is not a scandalous thing. Some people will always have a lot to say, but disregard them! Your true friends and family will not pass judgment.
You’re only together for the kids
Parents splitting up can be traumatizing for the children, but so can parents arguing all the time or treating each other like strangers. If kids are the only thing keeping you together, it means you’re already subjecting them to living in an unhappy home.
Is it time to take this step and separate from your spouse?
Did you know divorce is one of the most stressful events in a person’s life, comparable to a loved one passing away? If you’re at the point right now, just know that it sucks, but you’ll get through it. Learning to navigate divorce financially, legally, and mentally will make the process go more smoothly.
The very first thing you do should be to find a divorce attorney. Even a very amicable split can be exhausting and scary, so let the professional handle the legal proceedings. You should absolutely have them assist with the divorce paperwork, as any mistakes could be costly. Ideally, a divorce lawyer will work to settle your case out of court and help you move on as painlessly as possible.
Make a point of gathering all essential documents and staying organized with them. For legal reasons, you will need your and your spouse’s personal information, temporary orders, employment info, financial documents, etc. As unpleasant as it will be to pick at those wounds, you’ll need to give your attorney all the records concerning your marriage: copies of marriage certificates, restraining orders, reasons for divorce, child custody orders, and whatever else there might be.
Splitting up personal property and all your assets is part of a divorce, so you have to face it sooner rather than later. Make a list of everything you own individually or with your spouse: houses, cars, livestock, household items, things like jewelry, antiques, tools, or items of sentimental value. Don’t forget to collect all the receipts, warrants, and other paperwork. Hiring a financial consultant might be in order if the process is too daunting.
Between all the depositions, litigations, court battles, and attorney fees, please take care of yourself. Lean on the people close to you for support. There’s no shame in meeting with a counselor to help you with the emotional heavy lifting. Reaching for alcohol and other vices could be tempting, but it’s not productive in the long run, and neither is burying yourself in your work or pretending everything is fine. Let yourself feel all the feelings so you can move on.
Should I separate from my wife? Our quiz will hopefully shed light on your troubles. Answer the questions to find out if it is time to have lives of your own. Good luck!
