Humans are social creatures. At every stage of life they need other people – first their family, then also friends, later people enter into relationships and start their own families.
There is no miracle equation that will calculate how to find the perfect partner. Every human being is special and unique. Likewise, every relationship that consists of two unique beings is one of a kind. Nevertheless, psychologists and sociologists continue to study human relationships. Thanks to science, we can notice certain patterns. That’s how a researcher, Brian Ogolsky, noticed certain relationships and distinguished four unique types of relationships.
Course of study
A very large group of 376 dating couples was surveyed. The people were in their mid-twenties. Their commitment was studied for several months. It was noted whether it was increasing or decreasing. The results were very interesting. This is the first study in which everything counted, the overall functioning of a given couple. It found that relationships can be divided into 4 types, depending on how we engage in the relationship, and this in turn affects how lasting they are.
Brian Ogolsky has identified the following types of relationships: the dramatic couple, the socially involved couple, the conflict-ridden couple and the partner-focused couple. Each of these types functions in specific ways. The traits and behaviors attributed to each type have been distinguished. If you want to find out what your relationship is based on, be sure to take the Relationship Quiz.
The dramatic couple
It is the most common type of relationship. It accounts for 34% of couples. You are classified as this type if arguments and quarrels constantly drive you away from each other. And even you also have plenty of nice moments, these ups and downs are very intensely intertwined, and the commitment changes rapidly. These types of couples may be dissatisfied with the quality of their relationship. It can resemble a seesaw – once on top, once on the bottom. People prefer to spend time apart. They rarely go out on dates and have no common interests. This couple prefers to focus on their individual needs. They have their own separate circle of friends with whom they hang out. According to researchers, such a relationship is twice as likely to break up, compared to other types of relationships.
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The socially involved couple
The study found 20% of couples have strongly developed social relationships. They have many mutual friends who are involved in their relationship. This makes other people often involved in decisions about partnership matters. The type of relationship is non-conflictual and very stable, because it is based not only on partners, but also on friends. Interaction with society and the immediate environment plays a big role. If our friends read our relationship positively, we feel better about it too. Common friends bring partners closer together. This type of relationship is conducive to building a long-distance relationship.
The conflict-ridden couple
They account for 12% of all relationships. The smallest group of unions in terms of number of crises. It is similar to the first, but in this case the partners did not have as much fluctuation. These couples spent more time together than the dramatic ones, making them more durable relationships. However, not their ways of communication still leave much to be desired, and there is insufficient support from friends and family. These couples are bubbling with emotion. Partners live side by side, and conflict turns out to be the moment when they can interact. In the long run, such relationships end in failure. Living from conflict, to conflict is very tiring and does not work.
The partner-focused couple
It affects 30 percent of couples. Partners care a lot about each other, they want to spend as much time together as possible. They are very committed. In this type of relationship, all decisions are made together, considering them carefully. These couples spend every free moment together. They have common interests and common friends. They are very strongly connected with each other. It’s an idyllic relationship full of harmony and happiness that is most likely to be happy together.
Healthy relationship – effective tips
As you can see, many of the types of couples shown are struggling with various issues. When you are not satisfied with the results of the solved relationship test – don’t break down! Noticing problems in the relationship is the first step not to fix it. If you can see what your relationship is based on, you know what you should focus on.
By observing your partner’s feelings and behavior, you can learn from each other. Your partner’s interests can inspire you and help you in your own development. It is useful to know your goals and needs. The key to this is effective communication. You can’t expect your partner to always agree with your opinion, so it’s important to have an honest and direct conversation. Without judging, shaming, criticizing or blaming. Listen carefully to what your partner says, just as you would want to be heard. Don’t be afraid to talk even about difficult topics. If you put your mutual well-being first, as does your partner, everything should fall into place.
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It is a good idea to start with your own attitude towards talking to your partner. This approach allows us to avoid unnecessary reproaches to our partner or generalizations that can very quickly turn into an argument. Pay attention to extreme emotions. When aggression or anger arises, it is better to take a break from the conversation and return to it later.
Just show that you care
Relationships are very complex and there is no one smooth way to fix them. However, it is worth focusing on certain aspects, such as the aforementioned communication. Another such topic might be commitment. If we want our relationship to last long and happily, we must constantly fight for it. And this is a rule for both partners. Engagement seems difficult, but it doesn’t have to be that way at all. It all depends on the needs of each partner. Ask yourself what makes him or her happy. If he likes frequent conversations, ask every day how his day went. Go out on dates more often and buy each other gifts, even without occasions. These small gestures can do a lot. Above all, they show that you still care about each other.
Other ways to increase commitment in a relationship:
- Send each other nice messages.
- Listen when your partner talks about topics that are important to them.
- Notice little things about your partner: favorite color, favorite flower, what clothes he or she wears most often.
- Take care of the relationship with his/her family.
- Try to get to know him/her more every day.
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Trust is the foundation
Lack of trust is a common reason for quarrels and other problems. Mutual trust can be built by talking about your hopes, dreams and fears. It is worth remembering that trust builds slowly, but it can be lost in an instant. That is why it is so important to take care of the quality of the relationship. Cooperation and mutual help in everyday situations can positively affect the level of trust. It should not matter to partners that one of them can do more favors than the other. The most important thing is help in itself. You should also not make unnecessary promises that you may not keep. If this happens, trust will be damaged.
In conclusion, relationships are not an easy business. If you want to build a lasting relationship, you need to know yourself, your partner and your connection to each other. So take the first step and check out our free relationship quiz!
What type of couple can you be?
Dramatic, socially involved, conflict-ridden or the partner-focused couple.
Who has identified the 4 types of couples?
Romantic relationship researcher from the University of Illinois,
What will you learn by solving this relationship quiz?
You will learn what behaviors and emotions prevail in your relationship.
Which of the 4 types of couples is the most common?
The dramatic couple that accounts for 34% of couples.
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